The Best Way To Deal With An Unwanted Crush

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/spekulator and made available under royalty free license

While it can be somewhat flattering to hear that someone has a crush on you, letting them know that you are really not interested is necessary. If you don’t let that person know that their attention is unwelcome, the situation could get out of control, making it more difficult to break the news to them as they become more obsessed with you. A crush can be pretty easily dealt with if you nip it in the bud early on, but if you refuse to acknowledge it in any way, or go along with it, your new fan may just take it as a sign that you are in fact into them somewhat. What you have to be mindful of when letting the other person down is that you do it gently. You are dealing with their feelings and if you go about it in a way that is harsh or overly negative, you may very well hurt them beyond repair.

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lampelina and made available under royalty free license Before you let your crush down gently, make sure that it’s something you really want to do. There are plenty of situations where the crush is a friend that you have had for a long time. You may never have looked at them in a romantic way, but before you dismiss the idea completely out of hand, give it a little thought to make sure that you may never be interested in taking the friendship further. If you change your mind at a later date, there is a very good chance that your crush will have moved on and be unwilling to enter into anything more.

Once you have reached the decision to let your crush know that you aren’t interested, it’s important to remember that letting them know is going to be an uncomfortable situation for you both. The reality is though that it will become even more so if the crush is allowed to continue to grow. It’s much easier to be uncomfortable for a few moments, knowing that you are going to cause your crush some pain, than to allow it to fester and grow to the point where telling them you aren’t interested becomes almost impossible.

There are definite mistakes than can be made when dealing with an unwanted crush, with laughing at them or being unnecessarily cruel very much at the top of the list. Laughter is harder to control as it can often be brought on by the nervousness and feelings of discomfort that we mentioned earlier. It’s important to hold it together though, especially since that type of reaction can be particularly devastating to the crush. The best way to deal with the situation is to let them know that you are flattered by their advances, but that you are simply not interested in pursuing any sort of romantic relationship with them. Treat them with respect and kindness and they are much more likely to leave the conversation with a good feeling rather than feeling trod upon.

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/436ocw and made available under royalty free license

If the person with the crush is someone that you have been friends with for a period of time, you should reassure them that the revelation of their crush will have no long-term impact on your friendship. You can certainly acknowledge that things may be a little awkward for a period of time, but let them know that you do not look at them any differently and that you still cherish their friendship. You will be surprised how much negativity those sort of statements can take out of the situation, with the crush oftentimes walking away with a sense of relief. They will be glad to have finally got their feeling off their chest, and while the final result may not have gone in their favor, the fact that the friendship will remain can be comforting.

It’s natural to feel a little guilty for a short time after turning your crush down, but you have to realize there is nothing to feel guilty about. As long as you handled the situation in the way we discussed above, then you can walk away with a clear conscience, albeit with a little bit of a heavy heart for having caused another person some emotional pain.

 

 

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Morgan is the founder and editor of REALITYPLEX. After suffering from a life-threatening accident, he realized that the way we perceive things around us is based on our beliefs, emotions and experiences. In an effort to draw the line between perception and reality, he launched REALITYPLEX in 2011. Get to know him better and connect with him on Facebook, Twitter and G+