Should Women Ask Guys Out?

shy woman

Photo by Julia

I’m sure most of you have seen a beautiful woman on TV going on about how she spends all her time alone because guys never ask her out on a date. There is always a real air of disbelief whenever you hear those stories, but it also makes you wonder why she doesn’t take the bull by the horns and ask men out on dates. It is something of an antiquated theory that says that the man should be the one who does the chasing, but modern women are now more empowered than ever, meaning that it should be socially acceptable for them to make the first move.


woman approaches guy

Photo by Yilin

It seems, though, that society as a whole is yet to catch up with the women’s movement, with many people still feeling that it is the role of the man to be in charge. There are even those who look at women who do take charge as being somehow promiscuous, which is of course patently ridiculous. There are plenty of men who are shy, or who have a difficult time approaching a woman, no matter how stunning they feel she may be. If a lady sees that she is being admired and it’s obvious that the man in question isn’t going to make a move, then why shouldn’t she do it?


The problem here, at least as I see it, is that women are being given something of a mixed message. On the one hand they are told that they should stand up and embrace their womanhood, but on the other, they are also being advised to sit on the sidelines and wait until a man comes along to whisk her away. It can all become a little confusing for a woman, especially when they hear one man say that he would love to be approached by a woman, while another exclaims that it would be a turn-off.


The men that don’t really care for the idea of a woman approaching them to ask them out will likely argue that it’s a sign that she will be overly aggressive and bossy. What they mean by that, if you read between the lines, is that they would rather hang onto the traditional role of the male, which of course puts them in a dominant role over the woman. The argument against that, though, is that women should then dismiss those types of guys out of hand, since their asking her out means that he fully intends to be the boss in the relationship.


But what about those guys that have a difficult time approaching and talking to women? They are the ones who are likely to really benefit from a woman making the first move. Does it really make sense for two people that are attracted to one another to miss out on a possible relationship simply because one is too shy and the other feels she needs to conform to traditional courtship routines? Of course it doesn’t. It is incredibly difficult to navigate the dating waters, and if you see an opportunity to perhaps strike up a conversation with someone you are attracted to, then you should go for it.

shy guys

Photo by Sabaku

I may be way off the mark here, but I believe that women taking charge and asking men out is a really good thing. They get a little glimpse at what men have to go through when they want to strike up a conversation with a woman that takes their eye. It is perhaps one of the top 3 most nerve-wracking experiences that a man has to endure, especially since he has little or no idea of what the outcome of his approach will be. When a relationship starts out with both sides getting a little look at what the other has to go through in terms of getting things started, it means that they will get to know a little bit about one another before the first date is ever planned.



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Morgan is the founder and editor of REALITYPLEX. After suffering from a life-threatening accident, he realized that the way we perceive things around us is based on our beliefs, emotions and experiences. In an effort to draw the line between perception and reality, he launched REALITYPLEX in 2011. Get to know him better and connect with him on Facebook, Twitter and G+