How To Get Over An Unrequited Crush

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/sspivak and made available under royalty free license

A big part of having a crush on someone is building up in your mind how wonderful it will be when you are finally both together. There is seldom any thought ever given to the fact that the person you admire from afar may have absolutely no interest in pursuing a relationship with you. Those imaginary situations will only become more elaborate over time, so it’s important to get your courage up and reveal your feelings to the object of your crush. Sure it can be hard, but if you really want to be with that person, the only way to find out if they are interested is to ask. With that comes the possibility that they will not necessarily react well to your advances, so be prepared for the worst.

 

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/treefaerie and made available under royalty free license If it does go any other way than what you had hoped for, then you have to understand that it’s not the end of the world. It may feel that way in the moment, but the reality is that you will get over it and live to fight another day. It can be all too easy to take rejection personally, but everyone goes through it and it’s how you deal with it and move on that is truly important. The starting point of the healing process comes in the very moment that you hear the word no.  While your heart may feel as though it is sinking like a stone, you really have to try and retain your calm in front of your crush. Don’t lash out at them, even though you may feel angry, and try to realize that they are under no obligation to accept your advances.

 

That reality will quickly destroy all those wonderful moments you had envisioned in your mind, which in turn can lead to real pain. Allow yourself to grieve a little, crying if you feel it necessary. That is a perfectly acceptable reaction and is one that shouldn’t be bottled inside. Get it out of your system and then take the next steps to getting over your crush. That may actually be easier than you might have imagined, especially if they reacted in a particularly negative way to your advances. A person who greeted your revelation with a derisory laugh or rude rebuttal is probably someone that you wouldn’t really want to be with anyway. We oftentimes build up an image of a person in our minds that is a complete opposite from their true, unpleasant personality.

 

As painful as a rejection of that sort can be, it can also be something of a blessing in disguise. Take the time to think about what it would have been like to be with someone who could so easily be cruel. How long do you think a relationship with someone like that would have lasted, and how unhappy would you have been the whole time? This is another perfect example of why it’s best to get your crush out in the open, so that you can spare yourself any unnecessary, prolonged periods of heartache. It will also help you to move on and realize that there are plenty of other people out there, many of whom would actually welcome your advances and be kind to you at every turn.

 This photo is copyright (c) 2013 http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lusi and made available under royalty free license

The situations outlined above are more for when your crush is on someone that you don’t really know very well. What happens if that crush is on a friend that you have had for quite some time? There’s a pretty good chance that a friend will let you down gently if they aren’t interested in a romantic relationship and it’s important to realize that this revelation shouldn’t spell the end of your friendship. While the days and weeks that follow the rejection may be a little awkward, it’s not worth losing a valued friend over. You may even find that your friendship becomes a little stronger now that you both know where each other stands. There are going to be a lot of people that come in and out of your life and not everyone can be your soul mate. Just remember that every spurned advance takes you a single step closer to the person that you are meant to be with forever.

 

 

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Morgan is the founder and editor of REALITYPLEX. After suffering from a life-threatening accident, he realized that the way we perceive things around us is based on our beliefs, emotions and experiences. In an effort to draw the line between perception and reality, he launched REALITYPLEX in 2011. Get to know him better and connect with him on Facebook, Twitter and G+