How to avoid the temptation of revealing a secret

 

When someone first tells you a secret and asks you to keep it to yourself, it’s easy to assure them that you will. Time has a way of making that promise all the more difficult to keep, especially when it’s one that is particularly juicy and makes for a great story ([intlink id=”828″ type=”post”]how to relieve the stress of a burning secret[/intlink]). That secret can gnaw away at you, constantly finding its way to the tip of your tongue, just looking for a way out. There is no denying that keeping a secret is tougher for some folks than it is for others. If you are one of those that really have problems keeping them in, then you may want to read on and take advantage of some tips that will help you turn your loose lips into an airtight vault.

Divulging a secret that you swore to keep in an incredibly selfish act, so before you start to blab, take a moment to think about how it will affect the person who told you. If they chose you to tell, then the chances are they are a good friend or family member and you have to really ask yourself if you want to betray the trust of someone that important in your life. The secret getting out could cause them great shame and embarrassment and may even lead to them breaking off any further contact with you ([intlink id=”812″ type=”post”]secrets that must be kept safe[/intlink]). Is telling that secret really worth running a friendship over?

Some secrets have a time limit attached to them, so ask when it’s okay to tell. For example, a friend that is going to propose or a couple that are expecting may want to keep the information secret for a little while. Get a clear time on when it’s okay for you to reveal the secret and there should be no confusion. In any type of secret situation you really should try not to let on that you have a secret to tell. Running around yelling “I know something you don’t know” is only going to make you want to tell it, as well as leading to others constantly prodding you to give it up.

People can become relentless when they find out that you are withholding a secret, oftentimes resorting to peppering you with questions in hopes that they can trip you up and get you to reveal it. Don’t get sucked into that game as it’s one that you will pretty much always lose. It’s easy to blame other people when they force that secret out of you, but if you hadn’t made them aware of the fact that you had one in the first place then they would have never come after you.

If you really don’t believe that you can hold onto the secret for the amount of time that you are asked to, then tell the person that you would rather not know it. If you do decide to accept the secret, then you really have to commit to doing all that you can to keep it guarded. That can even mean lying when the situation calls for it. There may be a situation where someone else gets wind that there may be something that is being held in. If they come to you to tray and extract that information, then you can cut them off at the pass by simply saying that you know nothing about it. Giving up someone else’s secret is a complete betrayal of trust whereas lying to protect it can be considered somewhat admirable. It’s much easier to apologize for a white lie than it is for revealing a secret that could potentially hurt someone really badly.

It’s impossible to say why keeping a secret is such a difficult thing to do, which is why some folks are just better off not knowing at all. It can be argued that your inability to hold in even the most simple of secrets says something about your character. Those that can keep a secret are looked at as trustworthy, whereas blabbermouths tend to be looked upon in a rather poor light, even by those who force the secret out. Constantly divulging secrets may not necessarily be a sign that you are a horrible person, but you have to be aware that you will definitely be looked upon in a very negative light if you do.

 

 

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Morgan is the founder and editor of REALITYPLEX. After suffering from a life-threatening accident, he realized that the way we perceive things around us is based on our beliefs, emotions and experiences. In an effort to draw the line between perception and reality, he launched REALITYPLEX in 2011. Get to know him better and connect with him on Facebook, Twitter and G+