Homosexuals – Born or Made?

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 and made available under wikimedia commons license

“I believe very strongly that when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction, that things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey” ~ Brian Molko

If you are unfamiliar with Brian Molko, then let me bring you up to speed a little bit before getting to the heart of his quote mentioned above. Molko is best known as the lead singer for a band named Placebo, but has also made something of a name for himself with his outspoken views on life. A self-confessed bisexual, Molko is something of a resident of the world given that his family moved around quite a bit when he was younger. His parents were a strict pair, with his father in particular having the idea that young Brian should be a banker and nothing else. Like many kids do in the face of such intolerant parenting, Molko rebelled by adopting an androgynous look and style that drove his parents, and his peers, crazy. That rock ‘n’ roll rebellion seemed to seal his fate when it came to choosing a career.

This photo is copyright (c) 2013 and made available under wikimedia commons licenseIt would be very easy to read the quote above and think that it has everything to do with Molko’s bisexuality, but that, in my opinion, would be missing the point completely. I am a heterosexual male that has never had an attraction to someone of my own sex, but the quote still speaks volumes to me when I think about the laws of attraction and how easily they can be broken. If you speak to anyone that is gay or bisexual, you will never hear them speak of the day they made a decision as to who they were going to be attracted to. Those feelings only came out when they ran across a person that made their heart leap or caused butterflies to take flight in the belly. As a straight man I never made a decision to be that way; it was simply a natural occurrence predicated on nothing more than being attracted to women that I found to be desirable.

Those who adopt an anti-gay stance would then argue that there are no shades of grey in heterosexual attraction, but I beg to differ. You ask anyone what their type is and they will list a very specific set of attributes that they find appealing. If you run across those same people several years later, you would probably be surprised to discover that the partners they have chosen look nothing like the “perfect” person they described before. I am a perfect example of that. I always had a penchant for short blonde women, vowing to bypass all others in search of the one that fit the mold I had created in my mind’s eye. That I am now dating a tall, beautiful brunette tells you that I have as little control over who I am attracted to as the gay or bisexual person does. Shades of grey may sound dull and bland, but when you talk about it in terms of attraction and desire, then you discover that grey may very well be the shade that paints your heart and soul in all the colors of the world.



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Morgan is the founder and editor of REALITYPLEX. After suffering from a life-threatening accident, he realized that the way we perceive things around us is based on our beliefs, emotions and experiences. In an effort to draw the line between perception and reality, he launched REALITYPLEX in 2011. Get to know him better and connect with him on Facebook, Twitter and G+